Don’t forget to play this para fel na feel:
*Senting senti while listening to classic music*
Shucks! Eto yun eh, yung ginagamit na wedding march, di ba?
*papahid ng luha*
When I was younger, ang kabilin-bilinan sa ‘kin is wag mag aasawa ng maaga.
Now that I’m older, naririndi na ako sa mga nagsasabing, bat di ka pa mag-asawa?
Tsk.
Akala ko noon, finding your perfect partner is easy. Yan kase ang itinatoo ng mga magulang ko at mga tyahin sa isip ko. Finish college muna, after mag-college, mag trabaho tapos pwede na mag-boyfren..madali na ang makahanap ng prospect. Edi syempre hinde naman ako naniwala, lol. Mapipigilan ba nila ako kung ma-in love ako somewhere, somewhen, somehow.
But then, wala naman naging successful kase lahat nag fail. Yes, failed relationships. Ang bongga noh! May ’s’, plural form..that means more than one! Hahaha. I don’t know. Maybe because I am too much to handle. Di kaya because I am strong or too insensitive or masyado lang akong unlikeable talaga. Pero ang teorya ko is the wavelength thing. Wag kayong maniwala na opposites attract, dahil sa magnet lang nangyayari yun. Yah know…if ang wavelength nyo is exactly opposite, you will find it hard to meet half way. If your thoughts, opinions and interests in life are always conflicting, believe me it’s a disaster. Kaya naman pala we didn’t end up together kase one guy I hooked up with was sobrang high IQ from UP Engineering, the other one was from school, seriousness ang lolo sa buhay, magaling sa logic, robotics and math subjects and the last one was a poet slash composer slash writer. Charing. Alam mo yun, laging may probability, equation, theorem and axiom whenever you discus things. Eeekkk! Nosebleed. I enjoy literature but am not poetic and I can never ever compose a song. I can only take simple math problems, pero I love logic and puzzles though I trust my instinct more. Konek! I think I’m MORE artistic than logical. So one of us eventually got tired adjusting and giving way, thus, the relationship ended. Hinde ko sinasabing hinde ako matalino, mentally challenged lang. HAHAHAHA
Pero di ba may foint naman. How often do you see smart people marry stupid people? Or an aristocrat or royalty marry a commoner in real life? That’s so rare you only see it in fairy tales di ba. Scientist will marry a scientist, or else, kawawa naman yung, let’s say social climber lang na mapapangasawa di ba. She’s gonna spend all her life nosebleeding . LOL
Hinde naman naging mutual yung understanding na we should call it quits. No! I find it ka-plastikan when some people say na mutual yung decision. Denial lang yung iba tanggapin na iniwan sila ng jowa nila. In my case, that never happened kase as far as I can remember, they’re the one who’s telling me na they need….TIME AND SPACE WARP NGAYON DIN! In short, ang mga hayup ang nakipag-break! Ako, I just tell them “aha”…”ok”…and this very classic emo lines “if it’s what you want, that’s what I want…I want what’s best for you”…but deep inside me, I really want the worst for them. lol. And then this is what usually happen, in few weeks time, ang mga walangya, hinde man lang dumaan sa process ng depression…may gf agad at ang bilis maka move on, while me, bitter-bitteran up ’til today. And then later, I found out…3rd party pala ang totoong reason kaya kelangan ng time and space warp! Nakakainis baket may mga tao na sa totoo lang wala naman karapatang magka third party kung face value pagba-basehan! lol
Ok, back to focus tayo.
Yah know, several years ago, on this very same day, someone actually proposed a marriage to me. I almost said YES. Almost kase I didn’t know if I was mentally ready kaya surprise! Walang naganap na marriage ever. Hinde naman ako kagandahan pero ang choosy ko diba, lol. Para bagang gusto kong magsisi bigla. Akala ko kase may mag po-propose pang iba. Eh wala na pala, last na daw yun, kainis. But I never regret it…if anything, I feel glad I didn’t jump into marriage that soon, else, I wouldn’t be here earning 40K a month while blogging. Charing! Seriously, I probably wouldn’t be here blogging. I probably wont have the opportunity to meet the nicest people around the blogosphere. Things might end up worst, di ba, baka mamaya nangungutang pa ko pambili ng gatas, bigas and God knows what else.
10 days from now, I will be turning 20++! In tagalog, birthday ko sa April 24. I-ready na ang mga gifts. Sabi ko noon, I’ll get married at the age of 26…eh I passed that age already…and here I am…still singol but am happy. Wala nang yatang train papunta sa happily ever after land but who cares? Sabi nga ni Pusa, live the moment! Yeah, live in this moment now. Unhappiness lives in the past and maybe in the future too but today, tonight… there is no room to become unhappy. Single, brokenhearted, divorced, annulled…remember, there is always a reason to hope for the best things to come. Hinde naman masama ang mangarap na someday, pasasaan ba at I’ll be able to slowly march down the aisle with my traje de boda while Canon in D is being played by a violinist or pianist. Perhaps it’ll never happen, pero mukhang di ako papayag. By hook or by crook dapat mapasa-akin si Rainier, kesehodang ako pa ang maunang mag propose ng “will you marry me“. LOL
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