Why I Wouldn’t Settle

Here’s a good read for all the yuppies out there! Exactly my sentiments, except that I’m not in my 30’s yet.

Why I Wouldn’t Settle
Contributed by joycemorrison
Friday, August 31, 2007 @ 06:35:04 PM


I’m in my thirties and a victim of those rude questions as to why I’m not yet married, why I don’t have a decent boyfriend to speak of, what the hell’s wrong with me. But why force myself? If I don’t feel it in my bones that I’m supposed to be with a guy, we surely wouldn’t be. I mean, we could be “okay” together, and fine, we’ll be friends. But if he can’t get past my black nail polish or I don’t dig his chain-smoking habit, there’s zero chance for us to be more than pals. I’ll get off at the next stop, thank you very much.

It doesn’t even sound appealing, “settling down.” It’s not like you find the chair you are most comfortable with and then sit on it like a Lazy Boy. Is that what a relationship is? There might be some who’d say, why yes, that’s exactly what a good relationship is. But I trust it’s more than that. I need no Lazy Boy — I want a rocking chair. Comfort is good, but I need Passion. I need Fire that will be stoked with an equal Fire of my own. Carrie Bradshaw couldn’t have said it plainer to the Russian: I want a ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other Love. A tall order but hey, it’s worth the wait.

It’s not that I don’t go out and meet guys. I do. I understand that I have to do my part of being — what do you call it? — “out there”. Jeez, I’ve been out there for as long as I can remember. I enjoy and have fun hanging out with them. And I must admit that there are a couple of “prospective” blokes around, a few even quite perfect to be with, you know? Just not the one for me.

So what do I look for in a man, I’ve been asked countless times. None of your freakin’ business, I’ve replied. But once and for all, here goes.. it’s pretty simple, actually: I want someone who’ll make my heart bounce. For the rest of my life.

No “honeymoon period” for us. I want a relationship with a honeymoon all throughout, right until our dying day. Is that too much to ask? Perhaps. But I’m stubborn as stubborn does. I just know that there’s a guy who’s capable to perpetually woo me even after we’ve had 3 children, 6 grandchildren, and 12 great grandchildren. And he need not worry for I shall as well accordingly respond to his courtship.

I never forgot what I read in one of my personal bibles (The Bridge Across Forever, Richard Bach, Dell Books). It went something, like, we must not settle for a lukewarm lover and mild happiness. For deep down we know that lukewarm will turn cold, and mild happiness will become a nameless sadness.

I certainly will try my darn best not to fall into such death trap. I agree that it’s nice to have someone to share things with and all that. But if it were merely for the sake of having a boyfriend, let alone a husband — I wouldn’t be only fooling myself, but also be leading the poor guy on. Being selfish is purely human, but I’ll take my chances. Besides, I’d rather be single and endure the tactless comments of relatives and old schoolmates, than be with someone who doesn’t have the gift to good-naturedly suffer my querks.

And what would make my heart bounce? Aarr. Let that be the deliciously incandescent quality of the man. Really, if I have to give out instructions.. man, I’d rather kill myself.

So I sound a tad jaded. Big deal. Even my own best friends accuse me of being a.. commitment-phobe. Now, waitjustaneffingminute! What am I, a man? Heaven forbid. Please. I don’t chicken out of engagements. I don’t dangle my mate like a puppet. I don’t string along.. oh alright. I don’t mean to offend the opposite gender, considering my would-be significant other is part of the male specie. Come to think of it, I think these commitment-phobic people only seem that way because they simply haven’t met their match, you know? And when they do, they’d just know it. Just the way I would, too. I don’t jump into pseudo-relationships because of the sole but crystal clear reason that I’m holding out for The One. Yes, The One Who Will Make My Heart Bounce. Is that so hard to understand?

The ever cynical Janeane Garofalo reckons that there might be one person in the world for you, but you don’t get to meet them. But there are some people who are good at making the person they’re with the one. Not bad. But, who really knows, eh? I follow my own heart. Period. When it’s time, it’s time.

Listen, I am not made of stone, even if others around me think otherwise. I know that there is that one man who can take my many-times-broken heart and magically, effortlessly make it as whole and as bouncy as it could ever be. I confess that it’s taking ages for me to find him (and him to find me) but it will all be worth it. I just don’t want to end up with a prick, that’s all.


Delivered by Madam Auring

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  1. Taken from Dj montano’s blog

    Anonymous said…
    This is the first and last post ill be making on this page.

    This guy Brian can’t just spill out everything he knows because if he told everybody ALL and EVERYTHING he knows, would you still think DJ MONTANO and his friends would still pay him? I DON’T THINK SO. SO just let him say whatever he wants. This is HIS blog.

    Chuvaness is related to this people. Search, CELINE LOPEZ, TIM YAP and XENG ZULUETA in flickr.com and you could see most of their photos there were taken by CECILE ZAMORA. They are friends. Chuvaness posted on her blog an entry telling people to check bryanboy.com because there’s something in there- THIS BLOG. After a while, this particular entry of hers VANISHED. Obviously the wasn’t-able-to-get-over-her-rave days girl deleted it because these people (GUCCI GANG) will be mad at her for joining in the bandwagon of promoting this blog. Coward nga. But I understand her.

    Chuvaness had a blog bashing and making fun of beggars which she also deleted. After a lot of bashing, she posted an entry which had pictures of her being kissed by street children after watching the bilyjoe concert in araneta. I’m not matapobre and I do give people help but do I need to have my pictures taken like that? PLASTIK.

    Her friend really looks like Tina Tinio or maybe has the same body:

    Chuvaness asked her ARMY to stop reading this blog. Which is funny because she said on her blog that she was GLUED and then after comments about her started to come out, she tells her ARMY to stop reading this blog. FUNNY.

    Her kusinero husband parang said that this blog has already became pang-masa. Trust me, our drivers and maids and their families still don’t know this and my friends and I READ every post and comment but I’m certainly not from the masa class.

    And lastly, I doubt that readers of her blogs won’t check this site. The reason they go there primarily is because of gossip. And if you’re in search for gossip, I DOUBT YOU’LL BE MISSING THE POSTS HERE.

    P.s: CECILE ZAMORA really looks like a SLIGHTLY younger and TIRED Baby Arenas.

    March 11, 2008 6:44 PM

    1. haha you actually have the wrong chuvaness. The chuvaness they are talking about in that blog is chuvaness.com while this is mynosebleed.com.

      they are two different persons and we can vouch for that. Trust me, this chuvaness have no Gucci bag at all and have to cross a bridge just to get to her hut… They maybe both social climbers, but our chuvaness does not bash poor people. We should know because we are one.

      Before you comment please read first the “about page” haha. You will drag our friend to your senseless cat fights on that blog.

      Best, libre traffic to sayo haha, kala ikaw si chuvaness.com


      I’ll buy you a GUCCI para pangatawanan mo na lang! HAHAHA

  2. this is nice malen! 🙂 nakakatawa kasi feeling mas maraming girls ang ganito ang naf-feel or am i just running in the same circles ever since? hehe.

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