I know you’ve been reading and following me here all this time. Though you do not make your presence known, I feel in my heart that you still check on me once in a while and I wont deny that it flatters me. It’s been many many months since we saw each other. I would love to hang out with you again, why not. We’ve been friends for such a long long time and it’ll be fun to fool around with my ex-best slash boy friend. You know we’ve spent so much of our lives together and I’ve always felt that those years of my life will never leave me…all the things we’ve shared will be in my heart as long as I live.
Truth is, contrary to what you’ve been thinking, there is no pain anymore. I’ve found peace, finally. I have accepted it already that God made it happen for us. Not that I didn’t suffer at all, but you know me, more than anyone else, you know how strong I am. You probably don’t have any idea how it felt to die a hundred times, believe me, you don’t wanna go through that. I have stayed with you for so long and I have forgiven your fooling around over the years. I have been on YOUR side constantly, defending you from the people who made you look bad. I have even defended you from your own family and I didn’t want to stop believing in you, in us…but bad things happen to good plans.
All the time that we have been together, you have been busy fooling around with so many girls. Now, don’t deny it. I definitely can prove it. That’s how I learned the art of stalking. There was X, Y, X again, Z, Y again..Z again, and many others you have met along the way (this i’ve found out from your not so loyal friends). Even if it was painful on my part, I kept trusting you, believing somehow that someday, you’ll change but you’ll probably never gonna change. Your being a playboy/two-timer is incurable. Last time that we were together, I knew it was goodbye forever. We sure had lots of happy times but our love is not just meant to be. I shall not wait for you to come back because I wouldn’t wanna live in hell with you again. I have stopped loving you a long time ago. It’s all over and guess what, I don’t feel bad at all. I could even look at you in the eye and say right in front of your face that I do not love you anymore…and probably don’t care at all even if you die from a motor crash. Ok, that’s too harsh, I don’t really mean it. I still do care but not as much as what I used to share with you before.
You were the only beautiful man for me, for such a long time. My eyes were all set on you alone. I loved you for the longest time. Despite my being faithful, loyal, understanding and loving, you still have broken my heart into pieces. I’ve given you CHANCES and yet all I got in return was more pain and agony. I don’t deserve that.
Anyway, this will be the 2nd Christmas without you and I’m more than happy to celebrate it without you around. I’m trying to get what i can to spend time with some people who’ve been part of my life which includes catching up with people I’ve lost touch with through the years because I have prioritized you.
I hope you finally find your happiness because I have found mine. In fact, I am having the best days of my life ever…without you. And I wish you and your someone else, whoever/whatever she is, a not-so-merry christmas and not-so-prosperous new year! I am not bitter. I’m just merely saying that I think you deserve to suffer too. Ok, that’s too harsh again. It’s just unfair that I haven’t heard anything bad happened to you yet. The last thing I heard was you went abroad and got married while I, along with my arrogance, is still here, blogging my heart out and letting the world know how pathetic and loser I am. I leave it all up to God. I still believe that what goes around, comes around.
But between the 2 of us, I know, aketch ang nagwagi.
I’d like to thank you, still, for breaking my heart again and again because you made me feel how it is to die so I can fully appreciate how it is to be alive and whole again.
*insert nose and heart bleeding here*