FLASHBACK: 1st Year College
Oh my! He was one of the gorgeous boys around the room. Perhaps, the most gorgeous if I may say. Soulful eyes. Great skin tone. Pointy nose. A real killer smile. (Clue: Jericho Rosales or Piolo Pascual look alike). He was my BIG CRUSH crush then…and up to these days, after 11 years of wandering, he still remained as my ONE-BIGGEST-CRUSH-IN-THE-WHOLE-WIDE-WORLD.
This is not an obsession, of course. It’s just a lifelong appreciation of one’s CUTENESS and HUNKNESS. Kinda highschoolish-sort-of-thing.
We never really got close but I really feel inside of me that we can be sooo good together, once given a chance. Haha. Well, that’s what FLAMES/HOPE made me believe about him and me. And mind you, I did keep that small piece of paper on my diary for proofs someday. Could he be my soulmate?
He’s one classmate I get to see once in a while in the most rare places and in my most haggard looks. I’d seen him once while dining out, alone @ SM. Imagine how broke and desperate I looked that time. No sleep yet, big bag, plastic bag, big eye bags and eating alone, waaaah, plus, worst of all, unmanageable OILY hair.
Well, he did talk to me, at least — about his EX who happened to be my officemate. I am such a loser.
Fast forward 3 weeks ago, I bumped into him again but this time, I was a lil bit ok-looking. I was 20 meters away but I knew it was him so I was like, all smiles while afar even before he recognizes me. And when our eyes met….suddenly, there were *Sparks*Firecrackers*Sparks* all over. See, I felt that there is a connection between us. Yeah, I felt it but I’m not sure if he felt it or if he saw those firecrackers all over Cubao too. Hahaha! He’s so gwapo more than ever.
So when I got home, I excitedly and ecstatically searched him on Friendster only to find out that he is TAKEN and happily posing with his girl. I am such a loser talaga. Akala ko jackpot na. I don’t wanna be hopeless but I guess, I’m never gonna have a chance to be with him. So much for CRUSHING someone who never even look at me the way I look at him. No peelings at all. So there, goodbye to you crush. But wait……
Fast forward 1 week ago..
Being the nosy girl that I am, I checked his profile again and voila, I think…..they broke up. Waaaaahhh…I don’t wanna be happy about it because it’s just plain bad BUT…I can’t help it. I am glad! I’m freakin’ glad. There’s gotta be someone for your soul somewhere dear..and you don’t have to look that far…that’s mE. I’m here..all for yah. Naks. OA.
So out of desperation, in-ADD ko kaya, just in case lang naman na baka mapansin ako (finally)…esp. now that he’s finding a way back into love..nagbabaka-sakali lang ang lola nyo…pero anak ng………..ini-isnab ako. Ilang days na eh ayaw akong i-approve. Tseh! Hay naku, makatulog na nga. This is just the end of it all. I’m giving you up. It’s gonna stop here, right now. There’s just no point of wanting you as bad as this, if you never even want me for a friend. C’mon, we’ve spent 5 years of college together, maybe not that close but am I not a friend to you at all?
It’s pointless, hopeless and all waste of time. Goodbye to yah and I hope you find for someone to shed you some light, not just somebody to get you through the night. I’m sure you’ll find your way back into love. All the best to yah, JJ.
I care about yah.